2018-01 January

FGCC rides in January 2018

Saturday 6th January 08.00 am ride
Ride to Henfield proposed by the FD, which was a bit of a surprise due to the extent of flat riding involved. As JR later reported:
A splendid ride on Saturday on which it took seconds for things to deteriorate (or maybe ascend) to the farcical level of a standard FGCC ride, a state that was well maintained throughout the ride including at the end during the important memorial maintenance work that took place on the concrete road.”
A short way up Stable Lane and PT’s chain broke leading to suggestions that we needed the input of Mr Thriscutt as to the location of the chain break, so RK took a photo and sent the following email:
“Not sure if there is a consultant available to suggest which link is broken on Paul’s chain. Bearing in mind that the repairs are taking place outside Thriscutt Manor. We will obviously be expecting an invoice.

Now I wonder where the break is!

Regards 6 members of the FGCC. Some watching, some helping and majority taking the piss.”

With lightning speed and indicating how busy he is in Myanmar, MT sent in the following reply:
“Dear Sir,

I feel confident that I will be able to tell you where the break is along the chain (there are in fact, likely to be two points where the break has occurred, and a perfectly reasonable fee would be incurred for each point identified). However, I will require my invoice to be settled in full, within 14 days. I will also require a proper contract to be drawn up first and 6 weeks in order to deliver my report containing suitable proposals. Obviously I can’t be held responsible for anything that I might suggest and you will need then find someone else to implement the repairs.

If you do indeed appreciate the incredible value that I can provide for you in moving your circumstances forward, then please provide me with a comprehensive terms of reference and full conditions of contract, upon which I can then provide you with a better estimate of the likely consultation fee for you. (I only accept hard currency, so none of your flighty Sterling.)

I look forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience and I am confident that we will establish a fruitful and beneficial business arrangement for the future.

Yours sincerely

Mark Thriscutt
Independent Management Consultant ”

JR later commented:
“Not withstanding the fact that this response came back far too quickly for the text below to have been typed from scratch – I would suggest (worryingly) that this text was copied and pasted from his standard T & Cs – this seems to be a remarkably fair and reasonable ‘offer of services’. I suggest that we send a cheque forthwith, especially as he is bound to have placed a clause in the sales contract for Thriscutt Manor (where the repair took place), that ensures we receive an invoice for rental of the space that fronts the property.”

PT’s chain fixed and the peloton continued up Stable Lane and towards Chanctonbury with RK & RT taking bets that the FD would try to take us down the Lion trail. The bet proved correct and the peloton split with RT & RK joining the FD down a slippery Lion trail, during which he had an off-piste experience! Clearly this must have unnerved the FD as at the bottom he insisted on RIDING ON TARMAC whilst RK & RT continued off road through the boggy field. Regrouped at Steyning and we proceeded to Henfield for a Truffles brek. As PT commented :”The brek at Truffles was livened by JR’s side order of beans being delivered on toast as a Hobbit-style second breakfast”.

Return route via Downslink and the concrete road so that maintenance work could take place on the PT2 memorial.

PT2 memorial maintenance

After the maintenance was completed the FGCC eulogy was recited with a passing MTB rider joining in the salute as he went past, to the entertainment of all.

Total 21.5 miles and 1,643 ft climbed (Satmap). 21.3 miles & 1,588 ft climbed (Strava).
TAMITS – FD wanting tarmac.

Saturday 13th January 08.00am ride
Start delayed by a blasteet for CB and fixing of non-existent front brake for RT
A shortish ride proposed due to time limits for one. Ride to Steyning. Cissbury and straight on to the Steyning road and across continuing on to the Coombes. To Downslink and Then into Steyning via Castle lane for a brek at Truffles.
Plenty of vox testiculae including a proposal that we adopt a mission to protect and reintroduce the Sussex language, which has 20+ words for mud.
Return home via the Bostal, SDW and Stable Lane

Total 14 miles 1490 ft (Satmap) 1278 ft (Strava)

Saturday 20th January 08.00an ride
The morning after the night before – the APM evening with many pints and quite a few bottles quaffed. To help matters it was cold and damp with rain in varying degrees. Nevertheless a great turnout considering the circumstances with ZA, RK, MA, TK, PT, CB, KBS, JR and RT present.
JR proposed that we venture to the tank for an inspection, the suggestion becoming an agreement to go to the tank for any memorial maintenance required and on the return to maintain the Collarbone Alley memorial, the route to be selected to avoid the muddiest areas.
So up to Muntham and High Barn onto the SDW, but at the turning to the tank it was decided that it wasn’t worth going to the tank in view of the extremely boggy ground conditions, so we continued on along the SDW towards Burpham. Shortly after where the SDW forks right towards North Stoke we took the first left track in the direction of Lee Farm. However the “blasteet” call was made by Mr Kersley so we all stopped to attend to his steed.
during the IOW ride Mr Kersley had experienced a number of blasteets due to failing rim tape, so this latest puncture presented an opportunity to replace one of the rim tapes. With the usual combination of helpful and unhelpful commentary he proceeded to try to fit the new tape only to discover that he had acquired it for 29″ rather than 26″ wheels, much to the great entertainment of all present.
After struggling to replace the inner tube and re-inflate the tyre, KBS said “I had better check your other tyre” only to discover that it was flat too. A quick inspection highlighted that RK also had a blasteet, further extending the time with all starting to feel the cold, especially those die-hards in shorts. Finally on our way round to Lee Farm, back up to Kithurst car park on the SDW and return via Muntham. However, there was a split in the peloton du to our PT experiencing a puncture shortly after the high barn, with the 5 in front not realising and getting to the village and sorting out a table at Julia’s for the brek. At the end of the ride ZA also experienced a blasteet, giving a total of 5 for the ride.

Total 13 miles and 1,170 ft climbed.
TAMITS: TK and the wrong sized rim tape.

Saturday 27th January 08.00am ride
A number of routes discussed to try to take into account the ground conditions following endless rain and how to avoid particularly boggy locations, and it was decided that Steyning via the Lion Trail might be ok followed by Downslink and Lancing clump route.
Up Stable Lane and over to the top of the Lion Trail, which quickly proved to be very slippery, resulting in a suffering MA accompanied by PT to break away from the main peloton east along the top of the woods (walking, due to unrideability of the trail) until they reached the track between the SDW and BNC. They regained the SDW and retraced the route to Findon, where a restorative brek was taken chez Julia. The mini-peloton covered about 6 miles.
Meanwhile the peloton continued to slide rather than ride down the Lion Trail with KBS diving off piste at one stage, TK ending up swinging from a conveniently presented branch halting his fall, and RK losing his bottle (drinking one) but deciding that he couldn’t be bothered to struggle back up a couple of hundred yards to find it. Down Mouse Lane, KBS insisting on riding through the sodden field to restore his reputation following the experience on 6th Jan, accompanied by RT. Steyning and onto the Downslink, Shoreham footbridge and up a very sticky Lancing clump and across the Steyning road to Cissbury and Findon also for a brek at Julia’s.
Total 16 miles 1,270 ft.