January 2002

Fri 4    9.15pm APM Findon Manor

Attended by Messrs Topley, Allen, Mead, Budd, Richards, Roche, Avery, Peasey, Tomalin & Thomas

Mr Budd’s parents and wife also present for part of the time which raises questions regarding the rules.

Mr Peasey looking like he does on Saturday mornings, states categorically that he will be participating in ride the following morning.

The business executed in usual efficient manner by all club members present including discussion on Jubilee ride to take place in 2003. Options mooted are cross Northern England ride and ride to Budd parents’ location in mid-France – which would you choose.

Sat 5   7.30am Saturday ride

Messrs Topley, Avery, Budd and Thomas (with brother Philip) present for ride in spite of previous evening’s imbibement (unlike others). Mr Peasey surprisingly absent, considering his earlier statements. Excellent impromptu brek provided by Mrs Thomas.


Sat 12            7.30am Saturday ride

No one out on ride.

Thomas not present as he is in hospital dreaming up pathetic attempts to join splinter group of FGCC – see e-mails during the week for content.


Sat 19            7.30am Saturday ride

Solo ride by Mr Budd to Steyning Road, Langmead memorial and Chanctonbury ring.


Fri 25  9.30 Gala night EPM

Messrs Budd, Tomalin, Mead, Avery, Topley and Thomas present to discuss Gala night plans.

Apologies for absence from Messrs. Roche, Barbour, Allen, Richards, Nightingale and Price. Excuse from Mr Price was something to do with taking a coach-load of young ladies to London! Mr Roche could not be present because he had to wait up for Lyn to return.

Plans prepared and circulated by Mr Budd by e-mail. Formal dress code agreed for Gala night to be formal cycling gear – DJ and cycling shorts, though Morning coat and cycling shorts acceptable.

Medals list circulated for the missing information – Mrs Mead’s cryptic e-mail clarified. Mr Tomalin trying to determine the award that he will get by writing his own citation for Mr Mead – something to do with claiming that he is the only member to have cycled non-stop to the tank. Reason given by Mr Tomalin is that all the medals that he has received are ageist – well he is old isn’t he? Mr Mead will again allocate medals presentation and ribbon, and promised that this would be completed quickly in order to give people plenty of time to prepare presentations!

Business completed successfully in spite of great disruption from Mr Tomalin – stuffed vine leaves being a Mexican dish indeed! Also trying to play the old conservative by insisting on Nepalese again. Questioning as to whether Mexicans have desserts. However, redeemed himself by setting himself a task for Gala night.


Sat 26            7.30am Trek’n’brek AM

Riders: Messrs Mead, Topley, Price, Avery, Budd, Roche

Non-riders: Messrs Tomalin, Allen, Thomas.

The ride was to the Tank – a non-stop ride including bike-hopping over the wooden boards at Chantry car park in order to prove to Mr Tomalin that he is not the only person to have performed this feat.

Mr Mead supposedly achieving a mega spittle lob to Horsham, whilst Mr Topley disturbed a Mr Collings from his bed by using an old mobile phone number previously belonging to Mr Allen. Hence the move to the “not-“ language.

Excellent brek provided by Mrs Mead, with voluble assistance from Mrs Allen (notwithstanding limited quantities of hot water and well-cooked eggs).

Introduction of the word “wang” to the debatable FGCC vocabulary, expressing method of conveyance of articles around the breakfast table.

Message from Zach:

“sorry not to have notified same to those of you who kindly keep me informed about things! In order to spare Margaret’s friend’s son getting further early morning wake up calls and information regarding general direction of the morning’s peleton, please note that my no is: 07******7571

A fine brek this morning – many thanks to the Broadbanks catering staff. Not such a fine ride back to Rustington. Seemed to take forever going into the wind, and I arrived home drenched. Oh, but it was worth it! By the way, has anyone else recently changed their mobile no?” ZA


Entry from John:

“AM (host), CB, PP, MA, JR & PT assembled outside the group HQ and prepared to depart, a little after the expiration of the 10 minute rule and after Tony’s bidding that we ought to depart, (various acts of Parliament forbid a verbatim reproduction of his words but the euphemisms conveyed translate politely to “why don’t you lot get moving).

A quick call of the register had revealed that our Chaplain had failed to materialise and so PT attempted telephonic communication to attempt to fill the void. Unfortunately his data banks had not been updated with the latest
numerical information meaning that a (now ex) friend of the Allens was disturbed from his gentle slumbers only to be updated with information of which he was likely already in possession; this being that who ever he may have been he was not Zach!

After consulting with the BBC MA had suggested a westerly ride to the tank carefully omitting the vital  information that we would be riding into the teeth of a howling gale. Undaunted the brave few sallied forth with the CSG* bringing up the rear, for an otherwise incident free ride to the tank which (at David Tomalin’s previous suggestion) was undertaken non stop, that particular challenge having been issued at the previous evening’s EPM.

* The CSG being represented by only two members – RT having offered his apologies for absence, but (at the time of writing) no other apology having been received from Clarence House for the fourth member.

No sermon on the mount was offered from AM at the tank, time being short and the wind having got up again (from the SW and not from the MA).

A splendid Brek was had by all at The Meads and many thanks to them and Margaret for all this.



February 2002

Sat  2  7.30am Saturday ride

Messrs Budd & Peasey.

Entry from Chris:

The morning was bright, cold and windy (strong South Westerly approaching a
gale).  We made record time to the top of Chanctonbury – it was suggested
that the high average speed had been due to having such a small group
cycling and with both cycling members falling short (in years) of being
senior members.  As we turned South to return the truth was apparent and the
ride to Cissbury was slow. CB

Sat  9  7.30am Trek’n’brek MA

Messrs Avery, Allen, Mead, Topley and Thomas.

Rev Allen phoned Mr Roche on his mobile to advise that he was a little late, only to discover that Mr Roche was indulging in TEMKEK again and would not be out for the ride.

Route took us up Stable Lane, towards Chanctonbury, then Langmead memorial, southerly direction on a short section of the Steyning Road, a further section of the South Downs way, right around small hillock (extremely rutted to test the balance of those present), south past Hill Barn cross roads to the coastal road a right turn towards Worthing and then a further right into the area where the Avery household resides.

The ride started with the shortest ride before a puncture was experienced. We had set off from the Butchers in the usual manner and had got as far as Wintons when Mr Mead’s rear went flat. Whilst he had no replacement, the Team Mechanic leapt into action and we were soon on our way.

A windy ride (nothing to do with Divine Wind on this occasion, it being a powerful westerly), including an interesting experience of cycling at an angle of almost 45º, or so it seemed, particularly along the Steyning Road.

Mr Topley managed to upset an old war hero by cycling on the footpath – “I didn’t fight in the second world war to put up with the likes of you cycling on our footpaths – what has the world come to” – and his predicament was sympathetically supported by guffaws of laughter from Mr Mead.

We were joined at the Brek by Messrs Richards and Nightingale.

The brek itself was notable for being an inaugural brek at the Avery household, and at which the FGCC elegy was formally adopted for formal gatherings.


Most notably it was another splendid brek, provided by Mrs Avery with Claire assisting – thank you Julie.


Sat  16           7.30am Saturday ride

Messrs Price, Peasey and Thomas

Contribution eloquently provided by Mr Price:

Picture the scene;  Pale blue sky, cloudless and promising fine things for the day to come.  Frost like finely sprinkled icing sugar; sweet yet dangerous to the overconfident road tyre.  Luckily the three riders were equipped for all eventualities.  First on the scene arrived yours truly, Mr Phillip ‘I’d-better-get-out-on-a-ride-soon-before-Gala-night-or-I’ll-get-a-jolly-good-ribbing’ Price.  Whilst fixing a minor front brake misalignment Mr Richard ‘honorary member of the splinter group’ Thomas arrived fully clad in brass-monkey gear complaining of an unrequested squeak, reminiscent of a nightingale with piles, about his rear wheel.  He explained that he had covered it with oil just before he left but not wishing to discuss his personal habits I was relieved when Mr Adam ‘razor sharp’ Peasey turned up.
It was decided after a few minutes that the route should start with the North Face!  Surely this was impassable on such a morning but the three were not to be dissuaded and they set off with the vigour of men ten years their
junior.  The terrain was treacherous and a number of sideways slides made the going tough but the summit beckoned and like hopeless sailors we were drawn to the siren that sang sweetly from Chanctonbury.  On mounting that siren  we were engulfed in a veil of mist, cold but invigorating, which cleared at the summit.  A strange illusion then held our gaze atop that desolate place.  Looking out Northwards the landscape appeared to be looming towards us or else we were being drawn into it!  Our fixed gaze was broken by the growing warmth of the morning sun which was now higher in the sky and we set off further on our venture.  I believe, and please correct me if I am mistaken, we then made our way to Langmead?  A brief stop for the compulsory anecdote and serious manly discussions was had by the memorial and then on for the eyewatering downhill.  At this point I seemed to have picked up a bird as I could here whistling and tweeting from below.  On closer inspection at the end of the descent, (which seriously almost broke the sound barrier) it seemed that I was simply in need of a jolly good oiling – something about which I was a little hesitant asking Richard’s advice, just in case he got the wrong idea! Anyhow undeterred we dropped off the grassy knoll like freefalling peregrines after their prey and majestically swooped down the rutted path.
The return to Cissbury was at a leisurely pace and talk amongst the riders flowed like the tea from Mrs Higgins’ teapot; “Another cup young man?” At last we were back on the road and riding three abreast we entered The
Village.  A very invigorating ride was had by all.  Thank you gentlemen.  It was gripped and it was sorted – we offroaded!! PP.


Fri 22  Gala night CB + JR

Held at Mr & Mrs Budd’s residence – all members present with the exception of “Bob the Builder” Barber. Mexican theme for the evening and another excellent evening had by all.


Sat  23           7.30am Saturday ride

True to form Adam not present for ride, in spite of again having said that he would be there. However, RT only one present – solo ride to Cissbury, Chanctonbury and down to the A24. Glorious morning to muse over the excellent evening before.